Parenting is SO hard!! I, mean REALLY HARD!! Did YOU know how HARD it would be? It’s not like they send you home from the Newborn Nursery with an instruction manual or a twenty-four hour Tech Support number to call when your newborn bundle of joy won’t stop CRYING!! Or worse, the newborn’s mom won’t stop crying!!! …and if you are lucky, there are two parents!! Two people who likely love one another, and likely have known each other a few years or at least a few months! They may have even promised one another that they would stay together for eternity, NO MATTER WHAT!! …and what they don’t tell you is these ARE THE EASY YEARS!!!!!
It’s all a balancing act. Some people make it look WAY easier than it feels for the rest of us. Add to that the onset of Social Media-Hello FACEBOOK!!!!! Lucky for me Facebook was only present for two of my three babies. That means my first born eluded the BIG BABY reveal, the naked baby covered in goo picture and the “Welcome to the World” post making Him “Facebook Official”. I don’t think he minded missing out. I am profoundly thankful that I wasn’t “on” Facebook at that time. I was already struggling as a first-time Mom with a child who awoke if a mouse in our house farted – in short, he rarely slept. Add to that a child who didn’t suck well-so his mother and father and one notoriously anxious grandmother feared he was starving to death and would waste away in his sleep. If I would have had to make this newborn appear to be the blessing he truly was AND to appear impeccably dressed, clean, fed, well slept and happy to perfect the picture of what others imagined/expected to be the perfect family of three, I would have failed miserably!!
Then, there were two! My first born anxiously awaited his little brother already proclaiming his name to be “Dump Truck”. The newness quickly wore off when he announced two weeks after the birth of his sibling that,” I should have asked for a dog, instead!” Little brother didn’t see this Blonde Monster coming for him when he “magically” announced, “Hey Mom, watch this!” and jumped lengthwise over Dump truck without warning. Lucky for Dump Truck, the first born meticulously landed the perfect dismount just past the peach fuzz on top of his little soft spot. The rivalry between these two has rarely taken a break. First born, still hadn’t slept through the night and REQUIRED (and I mean REQUIRED) a parent to sleep with him ALL THE TIME!!! Leaving the other parent with the night care and feedings of Little Brother. Eventually, at the age of four, First Born was diagnosed with a disorder and we were introduced to one of the greatest inventions since sliced bread; the weighted blanket!!! At age 12, he still uses this and it HAS been a LIFESAVER!!! Not to be out done by his older brother, Dump Truck went on to break his tiny leg in three places at fourteen months of age. He learned to walk with a full leg cast and that has made this child virtually UNSTOPPABLE from anything he has set his mind to!
SURPRISE!! Every brother needs a little sister!!! Just ask my four older brothers, I’m sure they would DEFINITELY AGREE!!! The boys were five and nine when Curly Sue came to be. I believe “GOD always gives you a baby in HIS perfect timing”, not yours!!! …..this was quoted to me millions of times during some of the hardest days of my life. I thought boys were hard!!! I had NO IDEA what millions of women had went through giving birth to little pink bundles all of these years!!! GIRLS ARE HARD!!!!! …and this ONE, this CURLY SUE is EXACTLY LIKE HER MOTHER!! Ahhhhhhh!!!!!!! The Mother’s Curse, clearly states,” I hope you have one (a child) just like YOU!” Yes, my Mom said those very words to me while I was growing up, and I GOT HER! That Mother’s Curse worked! Just a few months ago I was telling my mother a story of something funny that Curly Sue did. Let’s face it, it IS almost always funny after my surprise/anger/humiliation wear off a bit. I said,” Ohh!! That Mother’s Curse!!” Do you know what my mother said??? She said,” Oh Lisa!! This is normal three year old stuff!! That curse hasn’t EVEN started!!” I’m lucky that little girl is so darn cute or this would definitely pose a problem!!
Three children. Three children without Owner’s manuals or 24/7 Tech Support! Three children who I am to love, guide, teach ethics, morals, patience and keep alive and from killing one another!! This is SO HARD! I’m not going to lie, I’ve thought sometimes that they may have been better raised by a complete stranger than the mother they were given! I’ve laughed, I’ve loved, I’ve stressed, I’ve cried….Boy, have I cried!!! I have been a single mother now for going on five years. I’m doing my absolute best, every SINGLE day-but, did I tell you how HARD this is???!!! Dad is in the picture, so I am not completely alone or solely responsible for these children. We co-parent pretty well from two different households! Grandpa and Grandma are just around the corner and some of those older brothers who were elated to have me…their baby sister are around to help hand out “whoop ins” or “talking to’s” as deemed fit. These kids are loved by ALOT of people! Even as I joke, they are my BIGGEST and BEST ACHIEVEMENT in life!!! I can’t imagine anything more profound happening in my life than these three kiddo’s!
My plate is full of responsibilities. My children aren’t a “phase” I’m going through, so don’t expect them to pass like a bad hair cut. Don’t think you will come into our life and save us, because we don’t need saving. They are my whole world and when they are grown and moved out I will undoubtedly miss every second of this.
“I didn’t set out to be a single mother. I set out to be the best parent I can be… and that hasn’t changed. ”
“Being a Mother is learning about strengths you didn’t know you had and dealing with fears you didn’t know existed.”
“We grow up thinking our parents don’t understand our struggles, but the truth is they made sure we never felt theirs.”
(Curly Sue’s autographed portrait…with a Crayon!🤣)